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Most parents who enter a contested child custody case imagine that there will be issues that arise from time to time. This is expected when dealing with a hotly contested issue like child custody. Indeed, the overall well-being and daily habits of your child are at stake. As a parent, you want to maximize your time with your children. So, it is not hard to foresee that the child custody case can be contentious.
That said, many parents do not anticipate the level of competitiveness and stress that comes about because of a child custody case. In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we are going to discuss the shocking reality of child custody cases. This shocking reality has less to do with the overall competition within the case and more to do with some of the unforeseen challenges and hurdles that you need to cross to complete your case.
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, then please contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our experienced family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. Take the information you learn from this blog post and go to the next level. Our attorneys are here to follow up on any questions you may have.
Challenging does not begin to describe a child custody case
As we stated a moment ago, most parents do anticipate challenges associated with the child custody case. Indeed, most of the valuable experiences in our lives came about because of some kind of challenge. Graduating from medical school is a challenge. Therefore, it is more likely to be gratifying on a long-term basis. Whereas going to the drive-through at McDonald’s may be gratifying for a short. It does not have much in the way of long-term satisfaction. A major reason for this is that it is easy to go through a drive-through for lunch.
Compare this to the circumstance involving childcare city. Doing what is best for your children is not always easy. I’m sure you can think back to long nights and difficult days while raising your children. Now that you are going through a child custody case it is the same. You knew there would be challenges associated with the case. That did not stop you from either filing or responding to the child custody case. The challenge was just part of the process.
As we are about to see, however, the challenges that come with a child custody case can be unique. With so much in the way of competing interests, you need to be extremely intentional with how you approach your case. The last thing you want to do is find yourself searching for answers in a sea of conflicting priorities. Being intentional means taking the time to think through the case and identifying areas that are most important to your family.
Intense emotional toll on parents and children
I’ve heard some attorneys refer to that kind of case as a business transaction. The purpose of looking at a divorce as a business transaction is simple. By removing the emotion in relational components of the case, you are better equipped to determine what is most important to you and your family. The thought is that the emotion of a case can blind you to what matters. So, many attorneys advise their clients to do their best to put on blinders and focus only on the objective realities of the case.
Whether it is a divorce or a child custody case, family law cases are not well suited for this mindset. No matter how badly you want to block out the emotional aspects of your child custody case it will be extremely difficult to do this. There are so many topics within a child custody case that create an emotional pull both on you and your co-parent. To presume that you can completely remove emotion from the case would be a tremendous mistake. Rather, it is a better idea to account for these emotions but to consider them however you see fit.
Keep in mind that your children will be impacted by the emotions of the case, as well. No matter the age of your child, there are emotional components that impact your kids. You and your co-parent are responsible for helping your child manage those emotions during the case. Remember that your children have black life experience and therefore are less equipped to handle these issues on their own.
Children feel torn between their parents
One of the reasons why children feel an emotional toll because of a child custody case is the feeling of being torn between both of their parents. You may not be pressuring your child to feel any certain way about the case. However, children tend to naturally feel that the child custody case is brought about because of something that they did. Of course, children never cause custody disputes. Parents cause custody disputes because of many factors.
This feeling can be exacerbated when the parents purposely put children in positions where they are made to feel like they must choose between parents. For example, in Texas child custody cases children can speak to a judge on the topic of primary conservatorship. In other words, this is a subject related to where a child can live on a primary basis. Children over the age of 12 can speak to a judge when a party files a motion for the child to do so. Children under the age of 12 may also speak to the judge depending upon the discretion of that particular court.
All in all, the more you place your child at the center of the case the more he or she will be made to feel like essential focus is placed on them. While you want the focus of the case to be in the best interests of your child you do not want him or her to feel like their opinions tip the scales one way or the other. This places an inordinate amount of pressure on your child.
Length and complexity of the legal process
Like any type of legal proceeding, a child custody case follows a specific process and timeline. Being able to understand what comes next in a child custody case matters a great deal. In general, we do not like to engage in a process where there are a lot of mysteries or uncertainties. Unfortunately, a child custody case presents parties with numerous unforeseen events and issues.
Having an experienced family law attorney by your side to help guide you is a critical component of this type of case. Even the most well-intentioned and well-read parent cannot overcome a lack of experience in these types of cases. Therefore, it is in your best interest to at least inquire about legal representation with an experienced attorney. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan are here for you and can provide you with the type of guidance you need to succeed in a child custody case.
From the beginning of a case, you are challenged to ensure that you know how to proceed in the child custody case. First, you must ensure that your court has jurisdiction over the parties and subject matter of your case. Next, documents must be filed in the correct format and on time. From there, scheduling hearings and mediation are a critical component of your case. In short, there are many challenges associated with a child custody case that have nothing to do with the parties themselves.
Financial strains
An additional consideration that is relevant to the child custody case is financial matters. Keep in mind that the longer a case proceeds the more expensive it generally becomes. This is due to many factors. With that said, many people simply do not have the funds available to maintain a child custody case for an indeterminate amount of time. As a result, parties are made to feel like they either have to conclude the case quickly or risk becoming insolvent.
Financing of child custody cases is nothing new. However, whether financing a child custody case is in your best interests is another story altogether. You know better than anyone what your specific financial circumstances are. Many people prolong a child custody case indefinitely to accomplish a certain goal. However, if that goal cannot be achieved in the current case, then all the prolonging in the world will not allow you to accomplish what you wish.
In other words, being able to follow through on a child custody case with manageable and achievable goals is important. This is another reason why working with an experienced family law attorney is important. A family law attorney can help you determine which goals of yours are achievable and which are flights of fancy. There is nothing wrong with having significant goals for your case. However, when those goals threaten your financial viability then you need to consider whether the goal and your case at that point is worth the effort.
Parental alienation
Unfortunately, one of the most distressing parts of a family law case involves parental alienation. For such a critical component of a case, parental alienation does not receive much in the way of attention. In short, parental alienation occurs when one parent attempts to harm the relationship between their child and their co-parent. There are many ways that parental alienation occurs in child custody cases. However, perhaps the most common is simply by speaking poorly of that parent in front of the child.
This is a nefarious way to harm your child’s relationship with a co-parent. For one, you cannot protect yourself and your image when the alienation occurs. Usually, alienation occurs behind closed doors at the residence of your co-parent. Therefore, you are not able to contest what is being said. In fact, in most circumstances, you don’t even know that the alienation is occurring. For this reason, alienation can be both incredibly damaging and incredibly difficult to identify.
If you can identify acts of alienation, then you need to act quickly. First, address the situation directly with your co-parent. Make sure he or she is aware that you know what is ongoing. Sometimes this is enough to cause the alienation to stop. However, if it is not then you need to address the issue with your attorney. The attorney can contact opposing counsel and discuss the subject. If need be, a hearing can be held where issues regarding alienation can be addressed directly by the court.
The need to negotiate comes before the need to litigate
One of the most significant misconceptions about child custody cases relates to how a case is ultimately determined. Many parents assume that a judge almost always decides the outcome of a childcare study case. However, that is not always true. Rather, the child custody case process in Texas lends itself to negotiation before litigation.
Negotiation refers to you and your co-parent setting aside your differences and coming up with their solutions to a family law case. This is done informally through negotiating with one another. Additionally, your attorneys may play a role in helping facilitate negotiation. Finally, there are formalized settlement negotiation sessions during a child custody case. These are known as mediation.
No matter what the types of disagreements involved in your case, you and your co-parent need to be willing to set those aside and try to come up with your solutions. This can save time and money. Most importantly, the two of you are better able to identify what is in the best interests of your child compared to a judge. By focusing on the best interests of your child and being willing to find a middle ground a settlement is very possible in your child custody case.
Uncertainty about the future
Another stark reality for families in a child custody case is that there are challenges associated with planning for the future. Everyone who goes through a child custody case would like to think that the case is going to be their last foray into the courtroom. This case will be the one that sets your family up for success in the future regarding matters related to custody and conservatorship. However, the truth is that family law cases rarely end with just one trip to court.
You and your family are likely to need to readdress the circumstances of your case at least once in the future. Circumstances change for families. This does not mean that the circumstances will be dramatically different in years to come. What it does mean is that you and your family need to be prepared for whatever issues may arise in the future. Children develop medical needs and educational problems, and families move. All these circumstantial changes may lead to you and your family having to come back to court.
This is usually done in the form of a child custody modification. You can request a custody order modification If there is a material in significant change in circumstances involving a party or child. On top of that, the requested modification must also be in the best interest of your child. So, if you are not satisfied with the order that comes out of your child custody case then you can prepare for a modification case in the future. On the other hand, if you are completely satisfied with your court orders then you need to be mindful that those orders can be modified in the future.
Conclusion: Seek legal advice to mitigate the challenges of child custody cases
Even though you cannot predict the future when it comes to a child custody case there are things you can prepare for in advance. One of those things is securing an attorney to help you and your family. Having an attorney to help guide you during a family law case is crucial. While it is no guarantee of success, having someone available to help walk with you can be a tremendous advantage.
Imagine trying to climb a tall mountain without a Sherpa. Or going on a cross-country trip without a map. This is also how you can look at a child custody case without an attorney. Your attorney has been there before. That is, assuming that he or she is an experienced family law attorney. Working with an experienced family law attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan provides you both with information and guidance during a critical point in your life and that of your child.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
