If you find it challenging to discuss crucial matters with your spouse, you’re not alone. Many individuals facing divorce share this sentiment, feeling a significant communication barrier with their partners. This obstacle often leads to the realization that effective dialogue is vital, especially in Texas divorce negotiations.
Here is the part of today’s blog post where I share some information that may come as a surprise. Most divorces in Texas never see the inside of the courtroom. That’s right- the image in your mind of you and your ex-spouse yelling at one another over the banging gavel of the judge is likely to be just that- an image in your mind.
Preparing for successful negotiations in Texas divorce
Most Texas divorces settle in mediation or informal settlement negotiations. Mediation is where you and your spouse select a third-party attorney to help you all negotiate a settlement agreement. Many folks going through a divorce will go to multiple sessions of mediation during a divorce case. The first session will take place before a potential temporary orders hearing, and the second mediation session will occur before scheduling your case for a trial.
If you can settle (even a partial settlement), the mediator will draft a Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA), which reflects the nature of your payment. One of your attorneys will then draft an order, either temporary or final, based on those agreements for you and your spouse to abide by. It’s crucial to note that you cannot retract your word or attempt to alter what the MSA includes. Waking up the following day and frantically calling your attorney to tell him that you have second thoughts about your settlement will do you no good.
A huge part of being able to negotiate with your spouse successfully- a person with whom you are likely not that happy at the moment- is preparation. In yesterday’s blog, we discussed how the organization and being intentional with your actions during a divorce are both keys to your success. Today we will continue to discuss themes related to preparedness, organization, and intentionality. This time we will do with within the context of negotiations with your spouse.
Know the situation and know what you don’t know
Wandering through your divorce is not a good plan. It’s not a plan at all. Yes, you have likely hired an attorney. Yes, they will do their best to guide you through the case and help you make good decisions. Hopefully, you will have selected an attorney who has the heart of a teacher so that not only will you know things about your case but that you will understand the “why” that accompanies every decision made in your divorce case.
Every divorce case has different phases. You need to know where you are in your case to negotiate better with your spouse. Your attorney will help you on this part, as well, but if you are hammering your spouse on what you are going to do with the house- and your case is barely a week old- then you are losing out on the opportunity to negotiate and discuss more relevant issues to your current phase of the case. You’ll get to the house- just not after one week in the divorce.
Before you even begin to negotiate, here are the questions that you need to ask yourself
Assets and debts are two subjects that you need to be knowledgeable of. I have represented clients on either end of the “knowledge spectrum” regarding personal finances for the family. Some folks are the one in the marriage who pays the bills, tracks the budget, keep up with the investments, and is generally the more “accountable” spouse when it comes to issues related to money.
On the other hand, we have spouses who take a backseat on these issues and let the other spouse do the driving. These folks usually have little to no interest in matters related to money. It could also be that their spouse has, on purpose or by accident, made it very difficult for him or her to gain access to the family finances. This is not a good thing and can significantly hamper that spouse from getting a feel for an important area of their lives.
One basic concept that you need to know is that you and your spouse obtained both assets and debts during your marriage. An asset is anything that has a positive monetary value. Investments, retirement accounts, bank accounts, personal property, vehicles, etc., would all count as assets. Debts are things like credit card balances, student loans, mortgages, car notes, personal loans, and other items of that nature. Your assets minus your debts equal your net worth.
Before negotiating with your spouse during divorce, ensure you understand your net worth, assets, and debts. Personal finances affect all aspects of life, including child-related issues. Understanding household bills, debt shares, and necessary income is crucial for negotiating child support, spousal maintenance, and other case aspects.
Know what your community estate looks like before it is time to negotiate
The same rule applies to your community estate, as I just discussed with you concerning your assets and liabilities. Negotiating the division of your community estate effectively requires knowing what qualifies as community property in your divorce.
If you need to know more about the state of your family’s finances, then your attorney should submit discovery requests upon your spouse. That means he will need to turn over to you information, answers to questions, and documents related to your family’s finances. If you’ve been left out of the loop regarding personal finances for much of the marriage, this becomes particularly helpful and necessary.
At the beginning of a Texas divorce, exchanging an inventory/appraisal list with your spouse is customary. Before mediation, submit an inventory and appraisal detailing each party’s estimation of the family’s finances and property owned. This list should include every item of property along with its estimated value. This proactive step ensures you understand your spouse’s assumptions during settlement proposals.
Both methods- an inventory/appraisal and formal discovery requests- should be made in your case. One will give you a generalized idea of what is happening in your family’s finances, and the other will provide you with a more detailed perspective. Negotiations regarding your family’s finances without these crucial steps being taken care of are destined not to be successful.
What to do if you, your spouse, or both of you own a business?
If either you or your spouse is the owner of a small business, that is a factor that could complicate your divorce a great deal. The critical part of negotiations on trade is determining a value for that business. There are multiple methods to estimate the value of a business. I do not have the space to go over those methods here, but we have prior blog posts that can guide you in this area if you are interested.
What you need to know for today’s blog post is that you need to get a professional to come into your case and provide a detailed, objective analysis of the value of that business. There is no natural way to divide up an asset like this somewhat unless you have a professional come in and help you determine its value. Again, negotiations cannot be fair when one (or both) of you is not knowledgeable about the asset’s actual value you are negotiating upon.
After you have a reasonable estimate of what the business is worth, you next need to determine what will happen after the divorce. As the family home, there are several different options that you and your spouse can negotiate on when it comes to determining a fate for the family business.
Considerations for handling a family business in divorce
One option is for the business-running spouse to retain ownership and compensate the other spouse with equal value from other community assets. For instance, if the business is appraised at $500,000 as community property, the non-business spouse could receive $250,000 in alternative assets, enabling the business to continue under one owner.
Another option is selling the business, with proceeds divided proportionately between both spouses. However, this involves negotiating the split percentage and finding a buyer, which can be challenging during divorce. If both spouses are in the industry and cannot continue together, selling might be the best solution.
The last option that I wanted to discuss with you today would be to maintain ownership of the business between the two of you and operate moving forward as 50/50 partners. If you absolutely cannot find a buyer for the company, absolutely want the business to stay in the family, or simply cannot part with the industry, this is an option to consider.
I often find that spouses who work well together but do not want to be married any longer can find success in this option. I would advise that you do some thinking about how working with your ex-spouse would impact both the profitability and the day-to-day operations of a business. If you think running the company with your ex-spouse could somehow harm the business, then I would think twice before selecting this option.
Your business is likely to be a massive part of your overall net worth.
Suppose you own a business that is pretty sizeable (as in, you own real estate, have employees, and own equipment associated with the business). In that case, it is likely that your business represents (along with your home and other investments) a massive slice of your net worth pie. As a result, you may not own other property that could fairly pay your spouse off for giving up their share of the business to you.
If this is what you are facing, you may need to agree to pay your spouse in installments over many years to pay them their fair share of the business. Or, you could decide to pay them spousal maintenance for a set period until the value is paid in full.
Conclusion
Effective communication plays a pivotal role in navigating Texas divorce negotiations. While the breakdown in dialogue may seem insurmountable, seeking professional guidance and employing strategies to facilitate constructive conversations can significantly impact the outcome. Whether through mediation, collaborative law, or legal representation, fostering open communication channels can lead to more amicable resolutions and smoother transitions post-divorce. Embracing this approach can mitigate conflicts and empower individuals to assert their interests while prioritizing the well-being of all parties involved in the Texas divorce negotiation process.
Stay tuned tomorrow for more negotiation tips.
We will pick up tomorrow right where we left off today by intelligently discussing more ways to negotiate with your spouse during a Texas divorce. If you have any questions about the material that we covered today, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week here in our office. These consultations are an excellent opportunity to ask questions and receive direct feedback about your particular circumstances.
Other Related Articles:
- Social media evidence can influence divorce negotiations
- 10 Tips for Successful Divorce Settlement Negotiations
- What do you want to get out of settlement negotiations in your Texas divorce?
- The Role of Negotiations in a Texas Divorce
- Basic ideas to help premarital agreement negotiations go smoothly
- What Does an Experienced Texas Divorce Lawyer Do for You in A Case?
- Courtroom Conduct: Things Self-Represented Litigants Should Know
- Tips for the courtroom
- Navigating through the emotional stages of a Texas divorce
- The emotional and psychological needs of children during divorce
Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.
