A Father’s Rights in the Context of a Child Custody or Divorce Case in Texas

My motivation to write this blog post and the one that preceded it (posted yesterday) was based on my experience working with dozens and dozens of good, well-intentioned fathers who feel like their rights take a backseat to those of their child’s mother.

While it could be argued that mothers have a leg up when fighting for and winning primary conservatorship of their children, it can also be argued that it has less to do with their being a mother or woman and more to do with their choices and circumstances.

To win primary conservatorship, a father must prove his significant daily role in his child’s life. Simply stating that work prevents frequent visits isn’t enough. Here are some real-world tips for fathers preparing for a child custody case or divorce:

Emphasizing the Critical Points of Being a “Dad”

Every dad has their own definition of fatherhood. I’m not disregarding your views or pushing my own. Instead, I’m sharing four key points judges consider when deciding primary conservatorship:

1. Take Advantage of Every Opportunity

Do you spend every possible moment with your child? If you’re facing a divorce, ask yourself if work or other commitments have limited your time with your child. Not demonstrating a significant role in your child’s life can hurt your case in court.

Consider if you should push for a contested trial over conservatorship. A divorce decree isn’t final; you can file for modifications if circumstances change. Use the interim years to build trust with your child. This can help you in future efforts to win primary conservatorship.

2. Take Care of Your Child daily

Going along with our first bullet point, do you take care of your child daily. One of the challenging parts of being a provider for a household is that you may not always be there for important days in your child’s life. Then, what about all the days where “nothing important happens.”

Those days where your child comes home from school, does their homework, eats dinner, and then hangs around until bedtime. Nothing exciting, just another day for your family. But, those days are the ones that are important to a judge.

Demonstrating an active and daily role in raising your child builds a strong case for becoming the primary conservator. Judges expect to see your immediate readiness to handle the responsibility from day one. Transitioning into this role later is a weak argument, even with time.

3. Know the Names of Your Child’s Friends and Their Parents

Do you know the girls’ names on your daughter’s soccer team? What about their parents? Have you ever helped out with a Girl Scout trip or your son’s Pinewood Derby?

Additionally, extra-curriculars allow your children to explore their interests and allow you to show your interest in your children. Consider your level of involvement in these activities and what role you played in encouraging your child’s activities outside of home and school.

Get Comfortable Being the Parent for Extended Periods

Parenting alone can be challenging. As a young father, I struggled when my wife worked or took personal time. Gradually, I became more comfortable and cared for my daughter for extended periods. This experience was invaluable when we had another daughter a year later. I learned to care for my kids for long stretches.

Initially, I thought women were naturally better at parenting. Now, I believe dads and moms have different strengths and can equally care for their children.

You need to show evidence of caring for your children for long periods. This includes handling their care when you’re home and finding solutions for their care while you work. Do you have a daycare nearby? Do you have family support? Are your kids close to your family?

What Is in the Best Interests of Your Child?

The judge will prioritize your child’s best interests when deciding on primary residence. They consider factors like who offers a stable home, your child’s needs, and any history of violence or abuse.

The best interests standard is subjective, giving the judge authority to decide based on the factors they deem most important. They will weigh the evidence as they see fit.

Whatever decision the judge comes to, you or the child’s mother will be assessed a visitation schedule if you are not named the primary conservator of your child. In Texas, a Standard Possession Order effectively gives you something close to a “50/50” time of possession, primarily if you are awarded an Expanded Standard Possession Order.

Keep this in mind as you negotiate with the mother in a case. It is not the end of the discussion if you agree or settle on this arrangement. As we discussed earlier, you can always come back later if you believe the circumstances have changed enough to merit a modification of your prior court order.

Prepare your case

Keep a log or journal of your thoughts and experiences on this subject to discuss with an attorney if you hire one to proceed on a modification, Divorce, or child custody case. Solid evidence that backs your arguments can be a game-changer. The more organized you are, the more successful you are likely to be in your case.

Questions on child custody and divorce cases from a father’s perspective? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC

If you take interest in pursuing a divorce, child custody, or modification case, please consider contacting the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC. We offer free consultations with licensed family law attorneys six days a week. From Beaumont to Katy, we represent fathers like you interested in maximizing their time with their children. It would be an honor to speak to you about your particular situation, and we hope to hear from you.

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Other Articles you may take interest in:

1. Tips on giving in-court testimony in your divorce or child custody case
2. Tips on giving in-court testimony in your divorce or child custody case, Part Three
3. Getting Ready for a Hearing On Temporary Custody Orders
4. Child Custody Geographic Restrictions in Texas
5. Geographic Restrictions in Child Visitation Orders in Texas
6. The Dirty Trick of Moving Out of State with the Kids
7. Can a Parent remove My Child from the state of Texas or from the County or Country where I am living?
8. Children’s Passports and International Travel after Texas Divorce
9. Child Custody Basics for Texas Parents Revisited
10. Child Custody Basics in Texas

Bryan Joseph Fagan( Attorney )

Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.

Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.

His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.

Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.