Picture this: you are coming out of a difficult divorce. You and your spouse have gone to the limit when it comes to disagreeing over various topics. Now that the case is over you would like nothing more than to have nothing to do with her anymore. The issue is, however, that you and your ex-wife share custody of your ten-year-old son. He is your pride and joy. You won his primary custody and intend to keep him safe from harm. However, your ex-wife is less than trustworthy. How can you know your child’s location during visitation periods with her?
This is an important question for many different types of parents. Some parents need to know their child’s location because of safety concerns. Other parents have such a lack of communication with their co-parents that their home’s location is a mystery. Distrust, anger, and a range of other emotions can muddy the waters. In short, there is a long list of reasons why you may need to know the location of your child during a visitation session.
Fortunately, there are ways to keep tabs on your child and maintain a co-parenting relationship. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is going to show you how that is done. Any questions you have should be addressed to the experienced family law attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. We have what it takes to advocate for your rights and those of your children.
What rights do you have regarding your child’s location?
The well-being of your child is at the center of ever family law matter you deal with. More specifically, the best interests of your child is what matters most. This is not a vague, subjective standard, either. Rather, the best interests of your child is as objective as can be in terms of what a court looks to when making decisions for your child. First, however, courts presume that you and your co-parent both make decisions with your child’s best interests at heart.
Conservatorship is the Texas term that is used to discuss the needs of your child. We commonly refer to this subject as child custody. However, the actual term used in the Texas Family Code is conservatorship. Rights and duties form the basis of this term. Understand this well and you will have a leg up in the world of child custody cases. Many parents want to know the location of their child because they do not trust their co-parent. However, if you can make a point to understand how rights and duties factor into the discussion you are far ahead.
When you are in possession of your son you can control his whereabouts. Most court orders are not too restrictive on where you can take your child when with you. There may be people that you cannot bring your child around, however. Such as an unrelated adult between the hours of 6:00 pm an 6:00 am at your home. Otherwise, you have a great deal of latitude to make decisions about his whereabouts.
Does your co-parent have to communicate with you about the location of your child?
Now picture this: it is your first weekend visitation after the divorce. You have primary custody of your child. Meaning that your son lives with you. However, this weekend you have to get your son ready to see his mom. She has a standard possession order which allows for weekend visitation on the first, third and fifth weekends of the month. This is the first weekend of the month. You prepare your child for that visitation period. He is dressed and ready to go.
You hear a car honk in front of your house. Your ex-wife is out there and excited to see your son. He’s excited too. As worried as you are about letting him out the door you also know that it is good for him. A boy should be able to spend time with his mother. You’d like to know where mom is taking him on weekends. Does she have a plan to get him to soccer games on time? You’ll be at the games but you’d like to know that he will be there in time to warm up. What about dropping him off at home on time?
These are the sort of legitimate questions that you may have. Wanting to know the location of your son is not snooping. Rather, it is you trying to exercise due diligence as a parent. You and your co-parent have disagreed on quite a bit over the years. Now she has much greater autonomy to make decisions since you are not always around. To that end- how much information can you receive about the location of your child?
Communication means being patient, showing grace and considering another perspective
Now, communication sounds great but it can be a challenge. Consider what happens in most instances with your co-parent. The two of you are famous for your disagreements. You have one idea about how to raise your child and she has another. You try to be direct with her but she is passive aggressive. An oil and water combination in real life. As fate would have it, the two of you are now in charge of raising a little boy. This despite all the differences you share. That’s irony, for sure.
However, it is also for the best. Co-parenting is based on communication. If you do not consider yourself a great communicator then you are in luck. Becoming a good communicator means practicing. Very few of us are natural born communicators. To get there we need to practice. You are not going to improve at communicating by sitting around and complaining about your ex-wife. Rather, you need to practice to get better. You especially need to practice to get better when it comes to communicating with a person with whom you disagree.
The more patient you are with your co-parent the more success you will have. For example- consider what would happen if you were accusatory and rude to your ex-wife at every corner. She likely would not be willing to share the location of your son were you to ask. The exact opposite would be her likely reaction if you were patient with her at every turn. She would have no choice but to at least consider your request. Want to know the location of your son? Talk to your co-parent and then listen.
What is required of a parent under a Standard Possession Order?
A Standard Possession Order is the most basic type of possession schedule for Texas families. The hallmarks of a SPO are the first, third and fifth weekend visitation periods for the noncustodial parent. Shared holidays, extended periods of possession for the noncustodial parent in summer and alternating holidays are other notable parts of a SPO. Understanding the ins and outs of a SPO can help you be a better co-parent.
If you are a noncustodial parent read your court orders closely. There likely is no requirement that your co-parent share your child’s location with you at any point. Most exchanges of possession are weekend visitation periods. Just as you do not need to disclose your child’s location to your co-parent, nor does she. Again, parents are given wide latitude to make decisions for their children in Texas. The decisions you make are presumed to be in your child’s best interests.
Have questions about reading your court orders? Don’t worry if you do. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan know how to walk alongside you during a family law case. No matter what your situation is we have an attorney who can help. Reach out to us today for a free of charge consultation. With attorneys located in all the major cities in Texas you are never far from you.
International travel: When does your ex-spouse have to tell you the location of your son?
One of the major situations where your child’s location will need to be shared with you is if your child travels internationally. Internation travel is something desirable for your child. The possibility of visiting another country is exciting. You may have family who live in the country. Whatever the circumstance is your co-parent has to the right to travel with your child. That is, unless the court says so in your orders.
If you know that your co-parent would like to take your child abroad then the time to act is during the divorce. Do not plan on being able to change your court order later. Rather, take advantage of every opportunity presented to you in the divorce case. Focus on your goals and you will find your case comes into greater focus.
International travel means having some control over your child’s passport. You may not be able to follow the court order and know where your child is at all times. However, negotiate for what you want. Updates every day from your co-parent may be what you want. Depending upon your child’s needs and their specific limitations pay attention to what your child does when nobody is watching. This is when you can gain a powerful insight into his life.
Specific orders for high conflict cases
All of these types of arrangements are appropriate in typical family law circumstances. However, in some situations you may need to go to extreme lengths to ensure the safety of your child. Let’s say that your ex-spouse has taken liberties with where he takes your child. Some weekends he will take your child on short trips. When you ask the location of where he is taking your son he will refuse to tell you. True enough, your ex-spouse does not have to keep you constantly informed of the whereabouts of your child.
On the other hand, it is understandable that you should want to keep track of your son. You don’t necessary trust your ex-spouse’s judgment. This makes you curious about where he is taking your child. Who is your child being exposed to? What would happen in an emergency? Again, reasonable questions to ask yourself in a situation like this. The issue is that your co-parent is not required to tell you where he is taking the kids. He can if he chooses to but he does not have to.
The following summer he decides to plan a trip to take your son to India. His family is from India and your ex-husband was born there. You have no connection to India and have only travelled there once yourself. Additionally, your ex-husband never told you about the trip. Your son spilled the beans after his dad told him about their travel plans. It’s not that dad is doing anything wrong. You still worry, though. What can you do to help ensure that you will know your son’s location over the summer?
Modifying an existing court order to know the location of your child
First, talk to an attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. We have represented many parents in this exact set of circumstances. We can reassure you that there are options to pursue when your co-parent attempts to travel with your child. First, understand that you need to take active steps toward fixing this situation. Your court order does not likely contain any requirements that your co-parent communicate details about trips with you. What are the sort of active steps that you can take?
First, taking a step towards transparency means modifying your court orders. Do you want to know the location of your son? Start to think in terms of how you can achieve this. First, a prohibition against international travel without consulting the other parent first makes sense. Disclosing when you plan to travel outside the country with your child. A requirement that an itinerary be provided to the parent staying home. These are sensible requirements for international travel.
Another consideration has to do with passport travel. Not all travel requires a passport, but travel to India would. Someone must apply for a passport for your son. Once the passport is issued one parent will need to keep the passport. Figure out who is going to be responsible for both of these necessities. If neither of you can agree on who holds the passport a third party may have to do so.
Do not rely on “informal” modifications of child custody orders
Many times, it is ok to simply adjust your child custody orders on the fly. Without going to court you and your co-parent have an option to try and modify your orders informally. Basically, with a handshake agreement the two of you can agree to change the court orders on your own to compensate for an issue. On minor issues, informal modifications may be ok for a short period of time. However, on major issues informal modifications are not advisable.
That puts a lot of pressure on you to be able to trust your co-parent. Is she going to follow what she has agreed to? Maybe- so long as it is convenient for her. Otherwise, it is easy to see a situation where your co-parent violates a court order when it is not mandatory. Technically, your co-parent doesn’t do anything wrong when she goes back on their word. An informal settlement agreement does not have to be followed. Making major life changes based on an informal settlement modification is not advisable.
Instead, choose to work alongside an experienced family law attorney. Going to court to modify a family court order is not a fun process. However, it is a worthwhile process. This means that you and your co-parent can work together to do what is best for your children. Looking out for their best interests long term means having a court order in place. Specific language that creates predictable outcomes works best for children.
Final thoughts on knowing the location of your child
Families like yours have a decision to make. Are you going to sit idly by and worry yourselves to sleep at night? Or are you going to do something about the issue you have with knowing your child’s location. First, consider mediation as an option. You can try to modify your court order through mediation rather than litigation. This could mean better outcomes for your family done quicker and less expensive.
Or talk to an attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan to better understand your current court orders. It may be that your current court order does not suit your current circumstances. In that case, act and move forward as quickly as possible. Do not leave anything to chance. Work with an attorney who knows your case and takes pride in serving others. Choose the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Thank you for your time today.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
