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Joint custody agreements offer families like yours the opportunity to maintain cohesiveness even after a family law case. One of the great misconceptions that people have about family law cases is that they tear families apart. While it is certainly true that there can be struggles that occur within families because of a family law case there are options to consider that can help families like yours prepare for life after the end of your case. Today’s blog posts from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan can prepare you for these realities.
Shared custody is a common arrangement in divorce cases where both parents share responsibility for their children’s upbringing. However, within each parenting plan, there may be specifics for how you structure the sharing of rights and duties. This is otherwise known as conservatorship. Therefore, shared parenting in Texas has as much to do with rights and duties relating to your children as it does with parenting time. Although as a parent it is normal to want to spend time with your children you must consider all areas of your parenting life. This blog post will help you to do just that.
The advantages and disadvantages of joint custody
As the title of today’s blog post would indicate, there are pros and cons associated with shared custody. A joint custody relationship may work well for some families but not as well for others. Of course, our law office does not know specifically what is going on in your family. You would need to consider the specific dynamics of your children as well as their best interests. Basing your decision on what worked for other people in your life is not a great plan moving forward. Instead, consider what your children need.
Shared responsibilities of joint custody
As far as “pros” our concerned, sharing parenting responsibilities with your co-parent hands out as among the most important. One of the challenges that parents face with raising a family is balancing all the competing interests. School issues, physical health, and mental well-being are all topics that must be balanced on the priority list. For most families, there is a considerable amount of issue balancing which must occur. How you and your co-parent strike that balance is up to you.
However, there are two things to keep in mind. Number one, it is in the best interests of your child for you and your co-parent to be involved in his life. The presumption in Texas is that children do better in circumstances where both parents are actively involved. This suits families like yours, which have two parents who want to be involved in helping to raise a child. That’s not to say that there won’t be challenges that come with exploring joint custody options. It is unrealistic to think that you and your co-parent agree on everything when it comes to raising your child.
However, having an opportunity to work alongside your co-parent and raising your child is better for most people than shouldering that burden on your own. While the idea of raising your child on your own may be appealing at times this is usually not a good long-term strategy. Rather, being able to share the benefits, challenges, and opportunities of parenting is for the best. Remember that even when difficult times arise during parenting. Keeping in mind these parenting pros will help you keep perspective during difficult moments in the life of your co-parenting.
Continued parental bonding
This is one aspect of the joint custody relationship that is not mentioned often. When it comes to relationships, you and your children are either improving or getting worse. The risk that you take being involved in a family law case is that your relationship may degrade over time. This can be due to several factors. Not the least of which is a problem related to a breakdown in your relationship. Not being able to see your children as often as you would like can certainly harm That relationship.
In a joint custody relationship, both you and your co-parent can maintain an active role in the life of your children. This is one of the great frustrations that parents have during and after a family law case. Specifically, that You and your co-parent can share custody time with your children means that they are more likely to be able to share time and affection with you. For a child, having a close bond with a parent means everything. Sharing custody with your co-parent means honoring and respecting the other person.
How you maintain and strengthen your bond with your child during the family law case is completely up to you. Again, the specific needs have your family must be considered. What looks like quality bonding time for your family may not look the same as in other families. That is OK. What you need to focus your time and attention on is serving your children as best you can. Everything else comes in second place.
Maximizing your parenting time with the help of an experienced family law attorney
One of the crucial parts of a family law case is being able to Maximize the time that you have with your child. Again, in a shared parenting circumstance, you may not have as much time as you would like with your child. However, your desire to spend as much time with your child as possible must be balanced against the best interests of your child. It can take some maturity and perspective to arrive at a point where you feel like you are comfortable with sharing custody with your co-parent. How you get to that point is unique to you and the circumstances of your family.
Having a specific parenting plan in place can greatly assist in maximizing the time with your children. An experienced family law attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan can help you take advantage of all the time that you potentially have with your children. As you will come to find out, the specific parenting time You have with your children depends upon several factors. Not the least of which are the ages of your children and the schedules of you and your co-parent. Therefore, you must consider the needs of your children now. Things like extracurricular activities matter a great deal to your children as they are getting older. At the same time, stability and consistency matter to your children in their younger years.
The last thing you want to do is agree to a parenting plan with your co-parent that is not advantageous for you and your family. When you and your co-parent can work together on the important aspects of your parenting life that is ideal. However, to get to that point consider working with an experienced family law attorney. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan know how to work through the complex issues that you encounter as a parent. We take seriously the responsibility of helping you with your child custody case.
Logistical concerns as a potential con of joint parenting
For all the benefits to your child of joint parenting, there are still challenges that come with this circumstance. First, you and your co-parent must be able to coordinate your lives around that of your children. Many families in your position struggle when it comes to the daily tasks associated with parenting. This can be for several reasons. Notably, when you and your co-parent have different schedules and interests that can lead to problems that arise. Wanting to do what is best for your children to noble goal. Actually, having a plan to do so speaks to the challenges at hand.
One of the most debated topics in the world of child custody in Texas is that of primary conservatorship. Being the primary conservator of children has a tremendous responsibility. Even in a shared parenting environment the primary conservator still has a great deal of responsibility. If your goal is to become the primary conservator of your child, then you need to have a plan in place. The type of plan you implement must work for you and your co-parent. Balancing your competing interests means considering each other’s vantage points.
While work schedules and responsibilities can vary, you and your co-parent may need to consider each of your schedules before committing to any specific plan. An ideal circumstance may not always arise when it comes to the needs of your family. Rather, think first about how to reasonably create a parenting plan that considers the needs of your family. When you walk through these challenges together it is possible to overcome them.
Communication hurdles have a potential “con” to a shared parenting relationship
One of the ironies of a family law case with children is that the case is truly the beginning of the rest of your life. Families like yours have a sense of relief, understandably at the conclusion of a family law case. However, the case itself marks only the beginning of the rest of your life when it comes to raising your children as a team. Joint custody means sharing in the daily responsibilities associated with raising your child. If this is not something that you are in favor of then a joint custody arrangement may not work for your family.
Fortunately, improving your communication skills is not something that is impossible. Nor does it require radical changes in your lifestyle. In truth, adapting your life to improved communication skills means only that you and your co-parent need to make a concerted effort to be clearer and more honest with one another. This may take you and your co-parent doing things differently when it comes to your relationship. Many times, for ex-spouses this means considering the relationship from an entirely different perspective.
If nothing else, you should consider reaching out to your co-parent early in the process. Doing so accomplishes several objectives. First, it shows your co-parent that you are acting in good faith. Saying that you intend to raise your children alongside your co-parent sounds good. It is an entirely different subject to follow through with those words. Try to communicate directly with your co-parent early in the process. Doing so pays big dividends and ultimately helps overcome a challenge of joint parenting.
The emotional strain of joint parenting
Sharing custody of your child with a co-parent is not easy. On the one hand, you understand that your child loves your co-parent. He or she looks forward to spending time with his mom or dad away from home. At the same time, you may have legitimate disagreements with this person about how to manage that co-parenting relationship. In fact, many times a divorce or end of a relationship has occurred Because of legitimate disagreements on how to parent your child.
What this means is you and your coherent certainly have room to grow when it comes to these relationships. Times of growth can be incredibly productive but also emotionally draining. As parents, we put an incredible amount of pressure on ourselves to serve our children. When we do not measure up to our lofty expectations it can be deflating. This is a circumstance where the best interests of your children should be at the forefront of your mind.
Continuing to not be on the same page as your co-parent is stressful. Even the most optimistic parent can feel beat down and out of their element when their co-parent continually disagrees with them. Having a support system helps. This means finding a person that you can trust in your life to talk to about these problems. Ideally, this would not be your child. Children should be kept out of these types of difficult conversations. A religious leader, counselor or trusted friend is the type of person that you should talk to you about the challenges of joint parenting.
Legal complexities associated with Joint Parenting
Finally, there are a significant number of legal complexities which are associated with joint parenting. You have already considered the beginning of one family law case. This may be a child custody or divorce matter. In child custody cases you must balance the best interests of your children with secondary considerations like your own desires for creating shared parenting arrangements. Your spouse or co-parent must do the same in their own life. This alone can lead to disagreements associated with raising a child together.
At the same time, the facts and circumstances of your case may make negotiation complex. Not every person has a straightforward set of circumstances at the beginning of a family law case. Some of you reading this have children with special needs or a co-parent with a particular work schedule. It is important that you look to the best interests of your children in a time like this. Gearing your decisions around the best interests of your children can help you to avoid circumstances where your decisions are short-sighted for any number of reasons.
It certainly helps to have an experienced attorney to help guide you during this time. Complex legal circumstances mean that you need to have an attorney by your side who is competent and experienced. An attorney should be someone who has represented families like yours previously. Finding an attorney who can help you overcome some of these joint parenting challenges is incredibly valuable.
Final thoughts on joint parenting pros and cons
There are several factors to consider in your life and those of your children when you are determining an appropriate parenting structure. Family law cases are not easy. Finding a program that works for your family means coordinating your efforts with a co-parent that you may not see eye to eye with. This should not come as a surprise to anyone. However, it is still the circumstance that you find yourself in. How you manage this transition time we’ll shed light on the thoughts your family has regarding the future stability of your family.
Thank you for joining us today on the blog for the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our experienced family law attorneys appreciate the opportunity to talk to you about this important subject. We offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week. If you have questions about a particular legal matter or a blog post, you have read please reach out to us. The best way to gain a deeper appreciation of this subject matter is to ask questions and receive feedback about your life and the impact of the family law case on your children.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
