Physicians often encounter unique challenges when facing divorce, necessitating the expertise of a specialized professional: the divorce attorney for physicians. In the complex landscape of legal separation, doctors require tailored guidance that takes into account their distinct financial situations, demanding schedules, and intricate asset portfolios.
As highly skilled professionals dedicated to their medical practice, physicians must also contend with the complexities of dividing assets, addressing alimony, and negotiating custody arrangements amidst their demanding careers. In this article, we delve into the pivotal role of divorce attorneys specializing in serving the specific needs of physicians, offering insights into how these professionals navigate the intricacies of divorce proceedings to safeguard the interests of medical practitioners.
Starting the divorce journey
Experiencing a range of emotions is typical during divorce: frustration with the marriage’s state, anger over actions (or inactions) that could have saved it, and sadness about its end and implications for children and the future. While divorces are typically unpleasant experiences, it’s crucial for readers to begin considering their impact on themselves and their families.
Given the numerous valid concerns you may have, you might find yourself wondering where to begin. Should you initiate a conversation with your spouse first? What if she doesn’t take it well? Should you talk to the kids about it before you file for divorce or should you wait until the case is underway? These are the considerations for you to look into now that a divorce is on the horizon. What works best for you may not work best for another person, and vice versa. The trouble is- you may not know what is best until the case has already begun.
That’s ok. Nobody makes every right decision in a divorce. Sometimes you will be under such stress during a particular stage in your case that it feels like everything you do is wrong. Other times you will have family or job issues outside of your case that will cause you to divert your attention, deservedly so, and can make a mistake that way with your decision-making. Life continues during your divorce. It would be nice if you could pause the rest of your life and pick it back up when things were a little calmer, but that’s not how these cases work, unfortunately. Being able to balance family, work, other obligations, and your divorce case is essential to having success in any of these areas.
Finding some degree of balance in your life during a divorce
One of the biggest things that many of us are seeking in our lives these days is balance. It’s a very en-vogue term that we hear about quite a bit in the culture. With so much of our lives scattered as a result of the pandemic, we can feel like parts of our lives bleed over onto other parts. We work from home. We live at home. Some of us are even continuing to educate our kids at home. While we all hope that this period will come to an end sooner rather than later, I think that the disjointed nature of many of our lives will continue for some time.
If we want to discover some balance, some sense of equilibrium in our lives we need to focus on it. It’s not as if any other person is going to stop our current trajectory and help us to be more mindful of finding a balance in performing our daily tasks. That responsibility falls squarely on our shoulders even in the best of times. Needless to say, a divorce is not the best of times. During a divorce case, you need to be on guard constantly, not just against things that your spouse can do during the case but on your schedule.
Rethinking work-life balance: Embracing life’s seasons
What does a lawyer know about balance? It’s often said that lawyers are intensely dedicated to their work, sometimes at the expense of other aspects of their lives. This reputation holds true to varying degrees, as attorneys are known for investing considerable effort into their careers, occasionally to the detriment of their personal lives. Lawyers (most of us) do work 1 hard for our clients. That is something that we take extremely seriously. However, what I would tell you about work-life balance is something that may come as a surprise.
The reality is that work-life balance is a myth. You or anyone else can’t have a one hundred percent perfect balance between work commitments and life commitments. It just can’t happen. There are too many things to do in life- professionally, personally, relationally, and regarding your divorce, for you to be able to take a pie cutter and cut that pie perfectly down the middle. I think it goes without saying that while we would all like to be able to have the perfect balance between all these elements the reality is that you can’t control these variables one hundred percent.
Rather, you need to be able to handle life as it comes to you at various stages and at various times. There will be seasons of your life where you will need to focus on work. Your job will take up some amount of time- perhaps even outside normal work hours. No matter what you do for a living there are time commitments for work.
Work and personal life post-pandemic: Finding balance
You may be among those people who are venturing back into the office or whatever your workspace is after a year or two of being out due to the pandemic. I think there are many benefits to going back to work physically. However, one of the downsides is that your commute time adds to the overall commitment that you need to give your job. It is easier to log on to your computer from your couch than it is to jump into your car and go to work.
Other times, you will have to focus more energy on your personal life- such as in a divorce. I think a lot of times we think that the idea of personal life is one on auto-pilot where we do not have to focus much attention on it. Our marriages, your children, and our extended family would simply hum along without much in the way of intervention needed from us. We could then devote more of our attention to things like our jobs, our hobbies, or whatever else that season of life throws at us. Our families would be there to offer consolation or celebration where need be. They’re like the toys that we play with when we want to and then drop and leave to the side when other interests pop up.
Well, I can tell you with some confidence that this isn’t how families operate. If you think about relationships like any other organism on planet Earth, your relationships are either getting healthier or decaying. Marriages don’t exist in a state of equilibrium or stasis. Instead, they are intricate relationships that require nurturing to withstand challenging times.
Marriage complexity and divorce: Balancing life’s busy seasons
We can think about our marriages this way they are probably the most complex relationships that we will ever have with another person. The thing that throws us off about marriage is that we become satisfied with them because we see our spouses every day. That our marriage will be there for us, like that toy we like to play with whenever it suits us, is an easy trap to fall into. Some of you may be realizing this the hard way as you face a divorce.
When you go through a busy season in one area of your life, the other areas are not going to receive as much attention. That’s just a fact. You may as well accept this and then do what you need to do in your life to compensate for that fact. Worried about losing touch with your kids during the divorce? Well, just because you’re worrying does not mean that your divorce is going to go any easier on you. Also, worrying about your children is not the same as actually parenting your children. It’s tempting to think that just because you are putting forth effort into worrying this translates into actual parenting effort. Thinking about parenting and parenting are two completely different things. Take it from a dad of three kids five and under.
Balancing divorce and parenting: Timing is key
Instead, I would recommend that you should be concerned about your divorce when it is time to do that and be concerned about your kids when it is time to do that. It is up to you to discern when each of those times is. I guess when it comes right down to it, that is the key to this entire discussion: you need to learn how to sniff out those times when you need to be concerned about the divorce on a minute-by-minute basis. All other times you should appropriately order the divorce into your life. I think that if you ask your attorney you will find that there are relatively few times that you need to be up to the minute-by-minute blows of your case.
Some simple parenting tips involve making the kids the center of your attention when you are with them. Do not parent with one hand on the remote and one eye on your phone. We’ve all been there or at least have been tempted to approach parenting like this. Instead, prioritize quality time with your kids by putting away your phone and turning off the TV when you’re together. Make the time all about them. It can be difficult sometimes to do this with the world swirling around your head like a tornado. However, you and your kids will be better off for you having done so.
Choosing a divorce lawyer if you are a doctor (or are married to one)
Doctors are accustomed to taking charge of situations and leveraging their expertise in the human body to exert influence and achieve the best outcomes possible. Sometimes circumstances turn out in your favor as a lawyer and other times they do not. However, the idea that a doctor like yourself could take recommendations from another person may come as a difficult concept for many people. Doctors are the worst patients just like attorneys are workaholics, right?
Finding a divorce attorney: Tips for doctors and their spouses
For starters, every doctor is different. Every person is different. We know that from elementary school lessons. No two people are the same. That’s what makes life exciting. However, what we can assert is that we can discern patterns from individuals regarding how they operate and what might be beneficial for you given your circumstances. Initially, finding an attorney doesn’t need to be overly complex. Undoubtedly, much of your life as a doctor is intricate enough. Finding a lawyer does not have to be and probably won’t be.
Here are some tips for you to follow when looking for a lawyer. Whether you are a doctor or are married to one, it would make a ton of sense for you to learn a little bit about the process before you jump into it. For instance, do you know what sort of attorney handles divorce cases? The general field of the law is known as family law. Family law attorneys practice in child custody and divorce cases primarily.
Divorces encompass both elements of child custody and community property division. It is recommended that you hire an experienced family law attorney for your case. Many attorneys in southeast Texas would be happy to take your divorce case. However, consider hiring a cardiologist to perform an ACL repair on your knee. Or going to a psychiatrist to remove your gallbladder. Just doesn’t make sense. Work with an attorney who knows family law and the ins and outs of divorce.
Considerations before representing yourself in divorce
Next, I want to mention that you can represent yourself in a divorce. There is nothing in the Texas Family Code that bars you from doing so. However, there are some words of warning that I want to provide you with before you consider doing so. First, remember a few paragraphs ago when we were talking about how time is at a premium when you get involved in a divorce? This is important if you think that you can also handle representing yourself in the case. While a divorce is not rocket science it is a commitment from a time perspective. This means that you would have to balance handling a legal matter like a divorce with your medical practice, family, and social lives. This is a tall order even for someone as accomplished as you. It is not recommended that you represent yourself in this divorce.
Ask the attorney questions when you meet with him or her. Listen to their responses. It is tempting to want to spend the entirety of your meeting with the lawyer telling him or her every detail about your life and why your spouse deserves to get what’s coming to them. However, as much as you spend time telling the attorney about circumstances from your life, you should also spend time listening to him or her. I can tell you that the result of the case will be better if you have a good understanding of what makes the attorney tick and how he or she would handle your particular case.
Choosing the right divorce attorney: Key considerations
If you feel comfortable with the attorney and believe that he or she has the requisite level of experience to handle your case then you are off to a good start. Do not underestimate the need to have a good working relationship with your lawyer. You don’t need to be their best friend but you do need to trust him or her with your well-being to an extent. If the attorney is experienced, professional, answers your questions, and most importantly listens to you then I believe that the attorney is worthy of consideration for hiring.
If you are the spouse of a physician, the considerations discussed above also apply to you. No one wants to feel sidelined during a divorce process, especially when you’ve contributed significantly to your family’s well-being. Just as doctors expect respect for their profession, spouses of doctors deserve equal recognition for their sacrifices. When consulting with a divorce attorney, inquire about their experience representing spouses of physicians. If they lack such experience, it’s advisable to seek out a lawyer who has successfully handled similar cases before. Like choosing a doctor, selecting a lawyer requires thorough research, questioning, and the willingness to listen attentively.
Questions about the material in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law as well as how your family’s circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case.
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Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.