As we step into the holiday season, it’s a timely moment to navigate the complexities of maintaining both your sanity and family cohesion amid the trying circumstances of a divorce after Christmas. This period can pose significant challenges, particularly because the traditions and values that have long defined your family’s holiday experience are likely to undergo considerable change in light of the impending divorce.
Strategies for Positivity and Adjustment
If you are already going through a divorce, I would recommend considering what changes you can make to make this holiday season a positive one for you and your family as you begin to confront the reality that your life and that of your children are about to change significantly. Even though these changes may ultimately be beneficial for your family in the short term, those changes will likely come at you quickly and result in stress for a temporary period. Start thinking about what the holiday means to you and how you can improve this year’s holiday season for your family.
Undoubtedly, going through this time as you prepare for divorce will not be easy. Many of you reading this blog post are planning on a divorce that your spouse has no idea about. Keeping this a secret from your family may have been the decision you were going to make, but that does not make it any easier for you to take this position with your family as the holidays approach. We need to ask ourselves what we can do to survive the holidays this year and develop a plan to start your divorce off on the right foot in 2022.
Handling the holiday season as a divorce approaches
You may be wondering about what you can do to make this holiday season as stress-free as possible. We tend to think of the holidays as a time for family, friends, and togetherness- and rightfully so. However, this year that goal may not be as easy to achieve. Looking to make each holiday season a memorable experience for yourself and your kids is admirable, but at the same time, that may not be something that comes easy for you this year. You may understandably find your attention conflicted and spread a little more thinly than usual.
The first thing that I would focus on is focusing on your kids rather than on your marriage. People often go through a great deal of effort to save their marriages, only to discover that those efforts were for naught. You may have even tried to attend counseling or therapy at the beginning of 2021 as a New Year’s Resolution. Months of attempting to work through these issues in your marriage may not have resulted in any tangible benefits. Now that we are close to the end of 2021, your frustration levels are probably pretty high. It doesn’t help that we are also entering a period where you will be around other people in your family a great deal. Seeing people in happy marriages can be difficult.
Prioritize Outdoor Time with Your Kids Amid Divorce
What you could do to avoid prolonged periods of sadness is to focus your energy on your children. Could you take advantage of the cooler weather and spend time outdoors with them? Taking your kids to the park, going to play a sport, walking the dog, or even just going for an evening stroll in your neighborhood can seriously help if you are struggling with your mental health or just not feeling like yourself this holiday season. Assuredly, what families go through during the holidays amid a divorce can be tremendously hard if they are dealing with divorce. For you, it is essential to identify what is most important in your life and prepare for what your life could look like after your divorce.
That begins right now during this holiday season. You can start to think about the parts of your life you want to focus on during your divorce. You may prioritize ensuring that your child’s medical issues are taken care of first and foremost. If your child has an ongoing medical need where you need to provide care for them, then it may be better for you to have the primary right to make medical decisions for your child. This is especially true. If you have been the parent who has primarily been Caring for your child on a primary basis, especially regarding medical decisions, then it would make complete sense for you to take the position of caring for your child in this way.
Academic Support and Well-being
Next, what about if she’s related to your child’s education? Suppose that your child has been struggling with school this semester. They may have been out of school in a hybrid learning environment or possibly even not attending school for the initial months of the pandemic. With almost all students back in-person learning this year, it is even more critical for your child to be able to re-adapt to learning in school. If that has been a problem, you may want to ensure that you and your spouse focus on this subject in a divorce scenario. Overall, the health and well-being of your child come first in your life. With expectations that your divorce could see some change in your child’s life, you should want to focus on their well-being both now and into the future.
Finally, there are many issues to be concerned with in terms of your Community property states. Community properties are any property that you purchased or acquired during your marriage period. This includes retirement savings as well as your family house in all likelihood. When we go through issues like this, the most critical factor in the entire discussion is that you want to ensure that you maintain as much of your property as possible, even if a division appears likely. Several factors could influence how your property is divided between you and your spouse, considering that community property can be divided unevenly.
Your Rights to the Family Home in Texas
The family house is probably the asset that most people think about on their Community property. There can be quite a bit of confusion at home because some people believe that if your name does not appear on the mortgage or the deed, you as a spouse in Texas have no say-so over what happens to the home. However, the reality is that Texas is a Community property state, and it does not matter if your name appears on the home loan or on the home itself. If the home was purchased during your marriage, it will be considered community property. Therefore, you will be able to maintain an interest in the home no matter what.
As a result, you need to consider what it means to the family home in your divorce. You may be looking for some normalcy on behalf of your children during this time. Staying in the family home may seem like an excellent benefit for your family during a tumultuous period; however, the reality of the situation is that you need to look closely at the circumstances before you decide whether or not it is in anyone’s best interests for you to keep possession in the house. Here are some specific thoughts about planning on what to do with your family home, even during the holiday time.
Deciding what to do with the family home
Being at home during the holidays is the time immediately preceding a divorce that will likely cause you to begin to ponder what you will be doing with the house after a divorce. That decision becomes even more critical when you consider factors like children under the age of 18 and mortgage payments. I think we’re best off considering these issues one by one and then going through what to do with your family home in the divorce itself.
Considering Keeping the Family Home Post-Divorce
As I have discussed before in this blog post, you may have a desire to remain in the family home after a divorce for no other reason than to encourage the stability of your family. Many families struggle with cohesion immediately following a divorce. For that reason, your first instinct may be to grab hold of something stable to promote the well-being of your family. The closest thing to grab onto in most families is the family home. Not only that, it is the most significant and valuable asset that you will likely possess. However, just because it is something easy for you to grab onto does not mean that your best interest must keep the house. This is true even if you have children under the age of 18.
The other important factor that you have to think about is how the mortgage payment is in line with your budget. Keep in mind that you likely obtained your mortgage using a household budget with two different incomes. Now that you are getting a divorce, remember that the mortgage payment will not be adjusted simply because you are down to one income. Stretching your budget as thin as possible to maintain a house that you cannot afford is not a good idea. It is a decision that could hurt your family over the long term.
Prioritizing Long-Term Financial Viability Amid Divorce
There is an apparent connection between these two elements in that many families are willing to risk a financial problem in the long term to benefit them now. Well, I can’t say I don’t understand why someone would do this, but it’s undoubtedly short-sighted to sacrifice the well-being of your family in the long term for a short-term play that probably won’t work out. Remember that that mortgage payment will be due on the same day as it always has been, no matter if you get a divorce or not, period; therefore, comma it will be wise to ensure financial viability before continuing with this loan even after your divorce has come to an end.
I am beginning to inventory your property.
In a time when you will both be likely to gain property and Bussum property, the holidays are an excellent time for you to go through your home and begin to inventory property that you own. This is because one of the first steps you will go through in your divorce will be doing the same. Why not go through these steps now rather than wait to do so in your divorce? You can save time and money in your divorce and perform these acts now. It doesn’t take much effort, and there is a method that I recommend to clients that they employ to begin the process.
The simple steps you can take to do this would be to walk through every room in your house with your cell phone and take pictures of what you find. It bears mentioning that the property in the home will likely change over the next few months, given that this is the giving season, and you may receive some gifts. However, many of those gifts will likely be considered separate property anyway, with the understanding that they are given to you specifically and not necessarily to you and your spouse. Therefore, the photographs you take will likely be a property that is subject to division in your divorce.
Utilizing Photographs to Identify Pre-Marital Property
Additionally, the photographs that you take can be important for you to start organizing yourself in terms of what property belongs in your separate estate. Remember that your different estate is in the property that you owned before your marriage. Depending on the length of your wedding and the property in question, you may have even forgotten about some of this property. With that being said, remembering that specific property belongs in your separate estate can enable you to locate ownership documents and prepare evidence to show that the property belongs to you differently from your spouse.
The holidays are also an excellent time to find a quiet moment to sit down at your computer and determine where your investments are. Those who have assets likely put the investments on autopilot, and that interest accumulates over time without really checking their specific status. Depending on your age, there is nothing wrong with doing this, but it is good to have an idea of where your investments stand before the divorce. Much like our discussion about community and separate property with other assets, you can also begin to think about what percentage of your investments are Community property and which are your individual property or your spouse’s separate property. This way, you will have a much better idea about the property subject to division in your divorce.
Strategizing for a Smooth Transition Post-Holidays
If you plan on filing for divorce as soon as the holidays are over, you are considering that having a plan can help you hit the ground running. It is our experience that many people work on filing for divorce after the holidays. If you have a plan in place and goals in mind, your attorney can likely help you more readily than people who have not thought about the next steps in their case. You can improve the trajectory of your case and shorten its length in all likelihood by doing some planning now before the holidays.
Once you have a solid idea of your property value or investment property value, and the value of your homes and can designate the property to go into different columns in terms of community or separate property, then you are ready to negotiate with a considerable part of your divorce.
Conclusion
Navigating the holiday season amidst the aftermath of a divorce after Christmas demands resilience, adaptability, and a focus on preserving family well-being. While the upheaval of cherished traditions may bring its share of emotional strain, it also presents an opportunity for redefining and creating new traditions that reflect the evolving dynamics of the family. By prioritizing open communication, empathy, and self-care, individuals can foster a sense of unity and stability during this challenging period, paving the way for healing and growth in the journey forward.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have questions about the material contained in this blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are an excellent way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law and how your family circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case. Thank you so much for being so interested in our law office. We hope that you will join us again tomorrow as we continue to post interesting and relevant information about the world of Texas family law.
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Frequently Asked Questions
The 60-day rule in Texas divorce law refers to the mandatory waiting period after filing a divorce petition. Texas law requires couples to wait for 60 days before their divorce can be finalized. During this period, the court expects both parties to work on resolving issues related to property division, child custody, and support.
Yes, there is a mandatory waiting period for divorce in Texas. As mentioned earlier, Texas law requires a waiting period of 60 days after filing a divorce petition. This waiting period is intended to give couples time to reconsider and potentially reconcile, as well as to address legal matters before finalizing the divorce.
The 60-day waiting period for divorce in Texas serves several purposes. It allows couples a period for reflection and the opportunity to resolve issues through negotiation or mediation. Additionally, it helps ensure that both parties have adequate time to prepare for the divorce proceedings, including property division, child custody, and support arrangements.
The “10-year rule” in Texas divorce pertains to the duration of marriage and its potential impact on spousal maintenance (alimony). If a marriage has lasted for at least 10 years, it may affect the court’s decision on spousal support. A longer marriage duration can lead to a greater likelihood of spousal maintenance being awarded.
Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.
