Are you considering a divorce? Many people consider a divorce at times of change in their lives. Whereas a marriage made sense for you at your wedding it may no longer suit you and your goals. Regarding issues like this, it is reasonable to wonder about your age concerning the divorce. As in wondering at what age divorce is most common. The first thing to point out is that the specific circumstances of your family matter a great deal when it comes to filing for divorce. No matter your age, a divorce may present itself as a worthy option depending upon the factors and events of your life.
In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we are going to discuss this topic in depth. Is there an age where you become too “old” for divorce? What about getting divorced when you are on the younger side? Do you stand to lose more divorcing as a younger or older person? These questions and more will be answered in today’s blog post. If you would like clarification on anything you read, please do not hesitate to reach out to the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. We can work with you to learn about this process so that you can better guide your family.
Do you need a specific reason for getting divorced?
One of the most frequently asked questions of our attorneys is whether you and your spouse need a reason for getting divorced. The simple answer to this question is that you do not need a concrete reason to divorce your spouse in Texas. The reason for this is that Texas is a no-fault divorce state. This means that neither you nor your spouse need to allege a particular fault ground to obtain a divorce. Rather, all you need to say in your divorce petition is that the two of you have irreconcilable differences or a conflict and personality that renders the marriage unable to continue.
However, it is also possible to divorce in Texas by alleging specific fault grounds for divorce. Examples of these fault grounds include adultery, cruel treatment, or abandonment. By alleging and proving a fault ground you allow for a disproportionate share of your community property to be awarded to you. Additionally, you position yourself to be able to when more favorable outcomes related to child custody and visitation. At the end of the day, it is not necessary to prove a fault ground to get divorced in Texas. With that said, there are advantages to doing so.
What are the initial steps of a divorce in Texas like?
Filing an original divorce petition is the first step of your case. The original divorce petition provides a court with an overview of who you are, who your spouse is, and information regarding your children. All of this is included in the original divorce petition. Additional and optional information may include fault grounds for divorce in particular requests from the court as far as temporary orders.
Once your original divorce petition is filed with the court it needs to be served upon your spouse. Personal service is all right that your spouse has. By serving your spouse you put the bonus on him to respond. Service is completed when a constable or private process server successfully hands your spouse all divorce paperwork previously filed. Your spouse has a right to be notified personally of a divorce having been filed. Simply filing for divorce does not give him that understanding that the case is moving forward. Rather, you need to serve notice upon your spouse to begin the case process.
An alternative to personal service is having your spouse sign a waiver of service first. A waiver of service waves your spouse’s right to be served with notice of the case personally. Instead of service, you will be able to Have your spouse sign and submit a waiver of service. Potentially, this can save you time and money. It also indicates that you and your spouse are willing to work together and avoid a highly contentious divorce.
What motivates many people to file for divorce?
There is a lot in a relationship that can change from one moment to the next. Many of these changes are experienced along with your spouse. Both of you get older, for example. Both of you experience the birth of children and the responsibility of raising those children these are changes that the two of you happen to experience together. Sometimes these are changes that can be planned or are positive. Locking arms and joining forces means that the downsides of these changes are not felt as profoundly.
On the other hand, some changes that you and your spouse experience in marriage cannot be planned. Illness, addiction, or even infidelity are changes that can come about without any planning. When the changes are felt by one spouse more than the other, they can leave the unchanged person feeling like they have been left out in the cold. Once you and your spouse get to the point where you are going in opposite directions that is when a divorce truly becomes an option to consider.
Whether you can avoid divorce depends upon your communication skills. How equipped are the two of you to talk through the issues in your marriage? For most people, learning communication skills takes time and practice. It is not as if you will be able to become a great communicator overnight. Rather, it takes practice and some effort to be able to do so once you and your spouse make a concerted effort to learn better communication skills then you can allow yourself to avoid a divorce. Otherwise, the divorce you seek to avoid may become unavoidable.
Approaching a divorce as you near age 30
The changes and challenges associated with your life are different at various ages. One of the more common times for people to get divorced is in their late 20s or early 30s. This is a time when you and your spouse have likely been married for just a few years. You are beyond your college years and our likely earning more money than you had been even five years prior. Many of your friendships from your college years have gone away and you and your spouse are spending time together more often. In short, the nature of your relationship has changed.
Add to these challenges you have additional considerations regarding the birth of children. Ask any parent of young children and you will come to find out that children being born changes the dynamic of a relationship significantly. Your interests take a back seat to that of your children. Even being able to do simple things like go to the grocery store or clean the house suddenly becomes more of a challenge. In short, you and your spouse are now co-parents. This marks the most significant change that could be experienced in your marriage.
Divorces cannot be ignored- as much as you might like to
These changes certainly add a new dynamic and the possibility for disagreements between the two of you. What you had thought marriage was going to be may no longer turn out to be that way. Instead of thinking about your future together, you may be bogged down in the present given the challenges of parenting on a day-to-day basis. All the while, your own health or mental well-being may be declining at the same time. This is the reality for many young families as they approach their early 30s. Suddenly, a divorce sounds like more of an option for your family. This is not the feature that you wanted but it’s certainly becoming possible considering the circumstances.
What issues are important in an “Early 30s” divorce?
First, many spouses who divorce in their early thirties have children. Parents know that their kids come first. Figuring out issues related to child custody is likely at the top of your list of priorities. Child custody refers to a range of topics related to your child. Visitation and possession are some of the most popular and noteworthy subjects that concern parents in divorce. How much time are you going to be able to spend with your kids? When are you going to see them during the week? These are the sort of questions that many parents care deeply about concerning their kids.
Child support is another topic that always receives its fair share of attention in a divorce. The parent who does not have primary custody of your child will pay child support. How much child support depends upon the best interests of your child. Other circumstances such as your child’s age and specific needs also factor into the decision. There is no set way to calculate child support. You and your spouse can determine which method works best for you all. The Texas Family Code contains a method of child support calculation known as the guideline method of child support calculations.
Division of community property also factors in a divorce for early thirties spouses. However, that is a subject that factors more into divorces for older folks. Simply put, there are elements of property division for younger, divorcing couples but most folks in this group have less property than older people. With that said, talk with an experienced family law attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. We know how to guide you as an early-thirties individual interested in divorce.
Approaching divorce as you enter your fifties
Many times, older folks getting divorced is referred to as a golden years divorce. However, I don’t think it’s fair to refer to someone in their late forties or early fifties as being in their golden years. At this stage of your life, you may be in the middle of a fulfilling career. Your children are now approaching the end of their high school educations. However, with all this transition going on you and your spouse may have grown apart. Attempts to reconcile or work through the problems in your marriage may not have worked. As a result, a divorce is looking like a distinct possibility.
With that said, there are some things to think about as you approach a divorce in this age range. For one, it is important to have a plan when you get divorced in your late forties or early fifties. As in, do not jump into a divorce head-first without thinking it through. Be sure that the divorce is right for you. At this point, you have put some serious years into your marriage. That is a commendable commitment. To end the marriage now would be disappointing for both of you and your children.
However, if you are sure that the divorce is necessary then it is time to work out a plan. The financial responsibilities of a married couple usually do not decrease from age thirty to age fifty. While you are hopefully making more money now than you were in those days that also means your lifestyle may have jumped along with your income. A bigger home, another car loan, college costs- the list goes on and on. Be sure that you map out a plan for how you envision your divorce proceeding.
What issues are important in an “Early 50s” divorce?
Retirement is closer than you think at age 50. Or, at least, you would hope that it is. Being able to enjoy the fruits of your labor is a key part of why we work. At some point in time, you will want to step back from work. If not totally then at least partially. Some of you may want to work for many years after your full-time career ends. This is looked at as an “encore” career. Whatever your plans are for retirement you need to have started to save. If not within an employer-provided plan than in a private account such as an IRA, stocks, or mutual funds.
Division of your retirement account(s) is a major part of the divorce negotiations for people in your age group. Hopefully, by this time you have been able to save up. Or, hopefully, your spouse has been able to save up within their retirement plan(s). Money contributed to retirement accounts during your marriage is almost certainly community property. Thus, this money is likely to be divisible in the divorce. Depending upon whether the account is in your name or your spouse’s your approach to the division of this property will differ.
Another topic that frequently arises for folks in their early fifties is the family home. For some of you who have lived in the same home for many years that residence may represent a substantial part of your community estate. Real estate in the major metropolitan areas of Texas has increased in value. A home you purchased in 2000 may be worth five times as much now as it was back when you made the purchase initially. Determining what to do with the home is something best decided with a team of people that you trust.
Final thoughts on divorcing at different ages
Ultimately, whether you are divorcing early in your marriage or later, you must have a plan in mind. Do not wander into a divorce without planning first. I realize that sometimes you are caught off guard when your spouse files for divorce. Completely understandable to have your wind taken out of your sails. However, that does not justify never putting in the effort to plan for the divorce. You may not have asked for the divorce, but you have had it thrust upon you. Better to participate than to drift along.
Determining what is most important to you is a logical place to begin your planning. This is where your age will likely make a difference. Older people may have fewer concerns with their children and more concerns with their finances. Likewise, a younger person may be primarily concerned with the well-being of your children. Finances may not be an issue given that you are just starting in your career. Whatever the case is for you it is best to identify what matters most and begin planning from there.
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan are a tremendous resource for a divorcing spouse of any age. We have walked alongside many different people who have gone through a divorce in Texas. Our attorneys not only know the law, but we work hard to communicate the law to our clients. We have the heart of a teacher when it comes to educating you on the law, and your options and helping you see the big picture. For an advocate who won’t back down, reach out to the Law Office of Bryan Fagan.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
