Imagine this: you’re in the middle of a heated Texas summer, and the ice cream truck pulls up. You and your neighbor are both eyeing the last Rocket Pop. Instead of fighting for it, you decide to let your kids duke it out. Sounds absurd, right? But believe it or not, this is exactly what happens in many Texas divorces, except the stakes are much higher, and the consequences are far more serious. Using Children as Weapons in a divorce in Texas is a common and harmful tactic that leads to serious emotional and legal repercussions.
Short Answer: Using children as weapons in divorce is harmful and can lead to serious emotional and legal repercussions.
In this article, we’ll dive deep into the dirty tricks parents play, like withholding visitation and making false allegations. We’ll explore the emotional impact on kids and the legal mess it creates. And don’t worry, we’ll also provide practical tips and solutions to help you navigate these stormy waters. So, grab a cup of coffee (or a Rocket Pop), and keep reading to find out how to protect your children and yourself from these toxic tactics. Ready to uncover the truth and learn how to handle the chaos? Let’s get started!
Using Children as Weapons in Divorce in Texas
One of the saddest things I have observed during divorce proceedings is when parents start to use their children as weapons. This can take several different forms:
- Withholding the children altogether from the other parent
- Making visitation contingent on paying support or some other factor
- Running away with the children to another city or state
- Engaging in parental alienation
- Crying Regarding Family Violence
- Coaching the children to lie
In today’s blog we will discuss some of these dirty tricks as well as the steps that can be taken should your ex start to do some of these things.
Withholding your Children
Unfortunately, during Texas divorce proceedings, parents can let their feelings toward their ex cloud their judgement. Sometimes these feelings cause them to play games to punish their ex out of anger or fear. The thing I observe most frequently is parents withholding the children from the other parent and failing to consider what is in the best interest of their children.
The excuse I hear for this is generally they do not want to let the other parent have the children because they are afraid that the other parent will not give them back. They engage in the very same activity they fear from the other parent.
You React to Spousal Starving
Maybe you decide to react to your spouse’s bad behavior of cleaning out the joint bank account and leaving you broke. As you result, you decide to get back at them by not allowing them time with the children.
First, if a court order that addresses custody and visitation rights is in place and a spouse does not comply with the order, he or she can be held in contempt and even end up in jail.
Withholding children by either parent is not a good idea:
- The court does not like when parents withhold children from each other
- It violates standing orders in counties that have them
- If there is an existing temporary order, this would be a violation of that order
When there is no order or agreement in place things become more complicated. This is usually the problem at the beginning of cases. If a parent engages in using the children as pawns prior to an order being in place, a judge will take that into account and there very well may be consequences.
Extreme Circumstances
Withholding children should be avoided unless there are extreme circumstances. These circumstances could include family violence or other concerns regarding a parent endangering children.
Other activities may rise to the level where withholding the children may be permissible. It would be a good idea to discuss any concerns with a Texas divorce lawyer.
Visitation Contingent on Paying Support
In many people’s minds, time with children is somehow contingent on the payment of child support. Prior to a court order, there is nothing telling parents what they can and cannot do.
However, as discussed earlier, Using Children as Weapons in a divorce in Texas is not only harmful but also legally frowned upon. Courts do not tolerate parents withholding children from the other parent due to lack of support. Doing so can land a parent in legal trouble. Lack of support is a matter for the court to address during a hearing, but it is never an acceptable excuse for withholding children.
Once court orders are in place, the distinction between support and visitation becomes much clearer. According to Texas Family Code Section 105.006, every Parenting Order must include the following language in capitalized bold type:
FAILURE OF A PARTY TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT DOES NOT JUSTIFY DENYING THAT PARTY COURT-ORDERED POSSESSION OF OR ACCESS TO A CHILD. REFUSAL BY A PARTY TO ALLOW POSSESSION OF OR ACCESS TO A CHILD DOES NOT JUSTIFY FAILURE TO PAY COURT-ORDERED CHILD SUPPORT TO THAT PARTY.
Judges are not permitted to withhold support while disallowing physical access to the child, except in severe cases such as abuse or child endangerment.
To ensure timely child support payments, an Income Withholding Order in Texas: A Tool for Ensuring Timely Child Support can be issued. This order directs an employer to withhold a portion of the noncustodial parent’s wages for child support, ensuring that support payments are made consistently and on time.
At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we understand the complexities of child support and visitation issues. Our experienced attorneys are here to help you navigate these challenges and protect the best interests of your children.
Running Away with the Children
This is one of the more frustrating situations that can have significant legal consequences if ignored. There are two different scenarios that our office encounters regarding parents who abscond with the children:
- Before divorce paperwork is filed and
- After divorce paperwork is filed.
Before Paperwork Filed with the Court
Prior to a divorce, unless there are court orders regarding the children, parents are free to do what they want with the children, including run away with them. This causes a great deal of problems with the parent whose children were just taken away.
Usually the parents are extremely upset when we meet them and want to know what they can do about it. We explain the next step involves filing paperwork and getting some orders in place, letting them know what their rights are, and when it’s their time to have the children.
If the parent did not ignore the bad behavior of the ex and files in time, we can usually force that parent to move back to the area. However, if they waited too long, they may have to go fight the custody battle where their ex moved to which could include travelling to a new state or country.
After Paperwork is Filed with the Court
If you’re in the middle of a divorce or a child custody dispute, it is a very bad idea to run away with the children because:
- If there are court orders, you may no longer have the right to relocate with the child.
- If you ignore a pending case, the other parent may be able to get orders appointing themselves as the primary parent. These orders may also severely limit your access to the child.
Engaging in Parental Alienation
Another tactic some unscrupulous parents will engage in during a divorce is intentionally trying to alienate the children from the other spouse to hurt the other spouse or to decrease time the other parent has with the children.
Parental alienation can take many different forms including:
- Preventing contact between the other parent or preventing the ex to see the children more than a couple of hours a week supervised
- Intercepting phone calls and mail from the other parent
- Continuously and repeatedly talking badly to the children about the other parent
- Creating fear in the child regarding the other parent
- Acting hurt or betrayed when the other child wants to see the other parent or shows affection for the other parent.
These can be serious cases when parental alienation is involved. Generally, one of the first maneuvers is to get experts involved such as:
- Psychologists who are trained in spotting and dealing with alienation
- Amicus attorney to represent the child
Crying Wolf
Sadly, domestic violence can be an all too real thing for men people going through divorce in Texas. In many cases, domestic violence is the reason for the separation and divorce proceedings. In other cases, the violence actually starts as a result of the divorce proceedings.
Texas Takes Domestic Violence Seriously
Texas takes domestic violence issues very seriously, and our laws allow victims to seek relief from a judge very quickly. At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we understand the gravity of these situations and are committed to helping you navigate through them.
Victims of domestic violence can be granted relief through several legal measures:
- Being awarded possession of the marital home
- Obtaining a protective order against the aggressor
- Preventing the aggressor from being within a certain distance of the marital home or the victim’s place of employment
- The aggressor losing the right to possess a firearm
- Temporary custody of the children
- The aggressor losing the presumption that joint custody of the children is in their best interest
Using Children as Weapons in a divorce in Texas is a troubling tactic that compounds the emotional trauma of domestic violence. Our experienced attorneys can help protect your rights and ensure the safety and well-being of your children.
In severe cases, where the aggressor’s behavior escalates to Aggravated Assault in Texas, the legal consequences become even more significant. Aggravated assault involves causing serious bodily injury to another person or using a deadly weapon during the assault. This type of behavior not only jeopardizes the victim’s safety but also severely impacts custody and visitation decisions.
At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we are here to provide comprehensive legal support and guidance. Whether you are dealing with issues of domestic violence, aggravated assault, or the misuse of children in divorce proceedings, our team is dedicated to advocating for your rights and ensuring justice is served.
Texas Domestic Violence Law as a Weapon
Unfortunately, the same law that is used to protect victims can be weaponized against an innocent party, making it one of the most serious and potentially damaging tactics in a divorce case. At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we understand the complexities and challenges that arise when Using Children as Weapons in a divorce in Texas.
A victim of domestic violence in Texas can:
- Have an ex-parte meeting with a judge (without the other spouse present). If the judge believes the victim’s story, the victim can be granted emergency custody of the children.
- Attend a court hearing within 10 days of the ex-parte order where evidence can be presented. However, the ex-parte emergency custody order remains in place until that hearing.
Although our office has not often seen the manipulation of Texas domestic violence laws, it is a dirty trick you should be aware of. This is something we caution our clients about. If you suspect your ex might fabricate claims against you, it is crucial to:
- Remove yourself from the situation and avoid being alone with your ex without witnesses.
- Record your interactions with your ex.
One of the few things worse than going through a divorce proceeding is having to defend against criminal charges simultaneously.
For those navigating these turbulent waters, it is also essential to understand legislative changes and their implications. A Deep Dive into Texas HB 1935 and The Texas Penalties for Tampering with Weapon Detectors offer insights into the legal landscape that may affect your case. Knowledge of these laws and penalties can help you better prepare and protect yourself from wrongful accusations.
At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we are dedicated to providing you with the support and guidance needed to navigate these challenging situations and ensure that justice is served.
Coaching the Children to Lie
Another tactic parents sometimes try is to coach their children to lie. This has come up in a few of my cases and, when discovered, it goes badly for the parent who is discovered. A couple of the ways I have observed parents being caught are when:
- There is an amicus involved or
- A judge has been asked to interview the child
In the case with the amicus, the amicus caught the mother coaching the children and placing recording devices on the children. The amicus in that case recommended the father not only be the primary parent for the children but also have sole managing conservatorship.
In the case with the judge, apparently one of the first questions the judge asked the children is what have your parents told you to tell me.
Divorce can be extremely hard on the children. They often do not understand the reasons for the divorce, feel caught in the middle, and many times wish the parents would get back together. When parents are focused on “winning,” they often lose sight of what is in the best interest of the children.
Unfortunately, coaching or prepping children is not a rare occurrence. The good news is that it is frequently discovered as in the above examples. If child testimony seems rehearsed and the children appear coached generally very little weight will be placed on their testimony.
Why You Should Hire an Attorney to Help You in This Situation
Navigating the complexities of divorce, especially when Using Children as Weapons in a divorce in Texas, can be overwhelming and fraught with emotional and legal challenges. It’s not just about protecting your rights; it’s about ensuring the best interests of your children and safeguarding your future.
Expert Legal Guidance
Hiring an attorney from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC means having a team of experienced professionals on your side. Our attorneys understand the intricacies of Texas family law and can provide you with the expert legal guidance needed to navigate these difficult situations. We help you understand your rights and obligations, ensuring that you make informed decisions throughout the process.
Protecting Your Children’s Best Interests
When children are used as weapons in a divorce, their emotional and psychological well-being is at stake. Our attorneys prioritize the best interests of your children, working tirelessly to create custody arrangements that provide stability and support. We aim to shield your children from the conflict, helping them transition smoothly during this challenging time.
Safeguarding Against False Accusations
One of the most distressing aspects of contentious divorces is the risk of false accusations. Whether it’s allegations of abuse or manipulation of domestic violence laws, our team is equipped to defend you against such claims. We gather evidence, provide strategic defense, and ensure that your side of the story is heard in court.
Comprehensive Legal Support
At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we offer comprehensive legal support that covers all aspects of your case. From securing protective orders to handling complex custody disputes, our attorneys are dedicated to protecting your rights and achieving the best possible outcome.
Stay Informed About Relevant Laws
Understanding the broader legal landscape is crucial. Issues such as Traffic Stop: Surging Cause Of Police Deaths may seem unrelated but highlight the importance of staying informed about laws that can impact your case indirectly. Our attorneys keep you updated on relevant legal developments, ensuring you are always prepared.
Peace of Mind
Perhaps most importantly, hiring an attorney provides you with peace of mind. Knowing that a knowledgeable and compassionate legal team is handling your case allows you to focus on rebuilding your life and supporting your children.
Contact Us Today
If you find yourself facing the challenges of a contentious divorce, don’t go through it alone. Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC today for a consultation. Let us help you protect your rights, your children, and your future.
Conclusion:
Let’s wrap this up with a little story. Picture a tug-of-war game at a family picnic. Now imagine the rope is your child, and the opposing teams are you and your ex-spouse. The harder you both pull, the more strained and hurt your child becomes. It’s not the picnic anyone envisioned, right?
Using children as weapons in divorce in Texas isn’t just a bad idea—it’s a disaster. We’ve seen how these dirty tricks can mess up kids emotionally and drag parents into legal trouble. But hey, it doesn’t have to be this way. By understanding the impacts, knowing the consequences, and seeking the right support, you can avoid these pitfalls.
Remember Jane and Tom? They found their way to a healthier co-parenting relationship through clear custody agreements and a bit of mediation magic. Or think about Mark and Lisa. Despite the false accusations, justice prevailed, and their child’s best interests were protected.
So, next time you feel the urge to engage in a tug-of-war, think twice. Instead, focus on creating a balanced and supportive environment for your kids. Trust me, your future family picnics will be much more enjoyable without the drama.
Now, go out there and be the superhero your kids need! Keep calm, co-parent on, and maybe treat yourself to that Rocket Pop. You’ve earned it.
FAQ – Using Children as Weapons in Divorce in Texas
Parental alienation in Texas occurs when one parent intentionally attempts to distance their child from the other parent through manipulation, false accusations, or other negative behaviors.
Divorce with children in Texas involves determining custody arrangements, child support, and visitation rights, all while prioritizing the best interests of the child.
Yes, unfortunately, children are sometimes used as pawns in divorce, with parents using them to manipulate or punish each other.
In Texas, a mother cannot legally keep the child away from the father without a court order. Both parents have equal rights to the child unless a court decides otherwise.
Evidence to prove parental alienation can include witness testimonies, communication records, psychological evaluations, and documented behaviors that show manipulation or negative influence on the child.
The 10-year rule in Texas relates to spousal maintenance. If a marriage lasts for 10 years or longer, a spouse may be eligible for spousal maintenance if they lack sufficient property or cannot support themselves.
In Texas, a child who is 12 years old or older can express a preference regarding which parent they want to live with, but the final decision is still made by the court based on the child’s best interests.
Texas law does not favor the mother or the father in divorce cases. Decisions are made based on the best interests of the child, considering various factors including the child’s needs and the parents’ abilities to meet those needs.
Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.
